Phallic Innuendo A-Go Go : Vintage Images of Suspiciously Phallic Nature

I’ve whipped-out a motherload of vintage images containing suspicious phallic connotations, all spread across the face of pop culture.  There are no hard and firm rules as to what constitutes phallic innuendo, and many people have mass-debated over the ins-and-outs of the topic. While some of these pictures may be innocent, others definitely give rise to a load of sticky questions. Come have a look…

vintage phallic photo

“Easy does it.  Nice and gentle.  That’s it.”

This 1978 Clairol hair color ad just randomly throws in a wildly phallic photograph of a woman sensuously sucking the cream from the tip of her gently handled cone. [From: Frosted, Sprayed and Feathered: 20 Hair Product Ads from the 1970s]

traffic safety vintage

This traffic safety promotion seems fairly benign… until you catch the look on the officer’s face.  Then you know he’s thinking what we’re thinking.

Just two girls handling a header.  From: Sex Sells Auto Equipment In The 1970s And 1980s

el papus magazine

I’m sure we’re just jumping to conclusions.  Let’s try and get our minds out of the gutter, shall we?

Easy with those teeth, honey.  Ouch.  [From Sexy Gone Wrong: Erotic Album Covers Done Badly]

1972 ad

This German ad from 1972 is a motherload of sexual innuendo… (can it even be called innuendo when it’s this blatant?)

She’s just innocently holding his tube.  Nothing phallic to see here.  [From What Sort of Man Reads Playboy? The Ultimate Male According to the Bunny Magazine]

Picturing people 1976 by Nibbelink, Don

It really makes you wonder why, of all pictures, they selected this one for the cover of the 1976 photography book.

grupo tambo

Those girls are really awed by his massive smoking hose

The most phallic-laden cover in the history of comic books.  [From: Tales of Insanity, Heartbreak and Cringe: 25 Supergirl Covers of the 1970s]

"... denn die Musik und die Liebe in Tirol". Im Bild: Vivi Bach (Susanne) mit einer mehrstöckigen Backware. SENDUNG: ORF2, SA, 03.09.2005, 14:55 UHR. - Veroeffentlichung fuer Pressezwecke honorarfrei ausschliesslich im Zusammenhang mit oben genannter Sendung des ORF bei Urhebernennung. Foto:ORF/-. Andere Verwendung honorarpflichtig und nur nach schriftlicher Genehmigung der Abteilung ORF/GOEK-Photographie. Copyright:ORF-PHOTOGRAPHIE, Wuerzburggasse 30, A-1136 Wien, Tel. +43-(0)1-87878-14383.

That’s quite the decorative object she’s got there.  I’m not sure what it is, I just know I don’t want to be standing nearby when it erupts.

From: Sometimes a Cigar is NOT Just a Cigar: Phallic Innuendo in Vintage Advertising

Freud reportedly once said that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.  Sometimes a ski is just a ski… but with a description “The right length. The right feel” it does make you wonder.  [From: Vintage Adverts: The Look of Love]

sherbet back

The back of the Sherbet album cover seems to be suggesting something.  Can you find the subtle innuendo?

Publicité Advertising 1970 Eau Minérale pétillante Vittelloise

She must be really thirsty.  Can’t even wait till the glass is poured.

practical photography january 1963

“Striking pin-ups” indeed.  I’m smitten.

I’m not sure what these Italian girls are sucking down, but they’ve definitely grabbed my attention. [From Buon Appetito! Italian Snack & Junk Food Ads from the 1960s-1980s]

vintage sexual innuendo

PYJAMA SOUS VETEMENT FLUTE TRAVERSIERE AD 1973

I’m sure the advertisers had no ulterior motive to presenting us with flute playing women.

An example of well-placed pottery.  Another from: What Sort of Man Reads Playboy? The Ultimate Male According to the Bunny Magazine

vintage sexual innuendo 2

“My Lips Are For Blowing”

I don’t think you’ll need help finding the phallus in this one.  [From: The Art of Selling Smokes: 11 Vintage Tobacco Adverting Techniques]

Another tobacco ad “penis” below:

From: Women in Vintage Tobacco Advertising

 

For some reason, there was a mid-century boom of pinups straddling “rockets”.  For more see: Vintage Babes and Their 1950s Phallic Rockets

No comment. [From: Sometimes a Cigar is NOT Just a Cigar: Phallic Innuendo in Vintage Advertising]

055_Hardwood Love

You know we’ve been looking at phallic imagery too long when even a woman admiring a long plank of hardwood makes us wonder.  Time to call it a day.

1978 in the news