I’ve whipped-out a motherload of vintage images containing suspicious phallic connotations, all spread across the face of pop culture. There are no hard and firm rules as to what constitutes phallic innuendo, and many people have mass-debated over the ins-and-outs of the topic. While some of these pictures may be innocent, others definitely give rise to a load of sticky questions. Come have a look…
“Easy does it. Nice and gentle. That’s it.”
This 1978 Clairol hair color ad just randomly throws in a wildly phallic photograph of a woman sensuously sucking the cream from the tip of her gently handled cone. [From: Frosted, Sprayed and Feathered: 20 Hair Product Ads from the 1970s]
This traffic safety promotion seems fairly benign… until you catch the look on the officer’s face. Then you know he’s thinking what we’re thinking.
Just two girls handling a header. From: Sex Sells Auto Equipment In The 1970s And 1980s
I’m sure we’re just jumping to conclusions. Let’s try and get our minds out of the gutter, shall we?
Easy with those teeth, honey. Ouch. [From Sexy Gone Wrong: Erotic Album Covers Done Badly]
This German ad from 1972 is a motherload of sexual innuendo… (can it even be called innuendo when it’s this blatant?)
She’s just innocently holding his tube. Nothing phallic to see here. [From What Sort of Man Reads Playboy? The Ultimate Male According to the Bunny Magazine]
It really makes you wonder why, of all pictures, they selected this one for the cover of the 1976 photography book.
Those girls are really awed by his massive smoking hose
The most phallic-laden cover in the history of comic books. [From: Tales of Insanity, Heartbreak and Cringe: 25 Supergirl Covers of the 1970s]
That’s quite the decorative object she’s got there. I’m not sure what it is, I just know I don’t want to be standing nearby when it erupts.
Freud reportedly once said that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Sometimes a ski is just a ski… but with a description “The right length. The right feel” it does make you wonder. [From: Vintage Adverts: The Look of Love]
The back of the Sherbet album cover seems to be suggesting something. Can you find the subtle innuendo?
She must be really thirsty. Can’t even wait till the glass is poured.
“Striking pin-ups” indeed. I’m smitten.
I’m not sure what these Italian girls are sucking down, but they’ve definitely grabbed my attention. [From Buon Appetito! Italian Snack & Junk Food Ads from the 1960s-1980s]
I’m sure the advertisers had no ulterior motive to presenting us with flute playing women.
An example of well-placed pottery. Another from: What Sort of Man Reads Playboy? The Ultimate Male According to the Bunny Magazine
“My Lips Are For Blowing”
I don’t think you’ll need help finding the phallus in this one. [From: The Art of Selling Smokes: 11 Vintage Tobacco Adverting Techniques]
Another tobacco ad “penis” below:
For some reason, there was a mid-century boom of pinups straddling “rockets”. For more see: Vintage Babes and Their 1950s Phallic Rockets
No comment. [From: Sometimes a Cigar is NOT Just a Cigar: Phallic Innuendo in Vintage Advertising]
You know we’ve been looking at phallic imagery too long when even a woman admiring a long plank of hardwood makes us wonder. Time to call it a day.