Turtlenecks and Ugly Couches: The Montgomery Ward Catalog of 1978

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I’m actually glad they don’t sell couches like this anymore. If they did, I’d probably lose my job – I would never leave the couch. EVER. I would miss holiday gatherings, I’d miss my children’s sporting events, I’d miss out on everything… and the worst of it is, I wouldn’t even freaking care. I’d be too busy rolling around in comfy splendor.

You want to end all wars? Put one of these in every home on the planet. Who wants to fight when you’ve got one of these bad boys in your living room? Even the 72 virgins thing can’t compete with this slice of couch potato Paradise.

Yeah, that’s right. I said it. Upholstered modular furniture is the solution to World Peace. Now, let’s see what else is in this 1978 Montgomery Ward Winter Sale Catalog.

 

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While modular furniture is the answer to World Peace, acrylic V-neck sweaters, however, are an Abomination from the 7th Abyss of Hell.

 

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Just for future reference, that man in the white turtleneck is the coolest human being who has ever lived.  There can be no argument to the contrary.

 

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Note to guy on treadmill: Six Million Dollar Man you are not. It looks less like a treadmill than it does an a walker for the elderly.

 

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The walnut stain on the crate wood looks depressing, and is made more so when complimented with that plaid upholstery.

 

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In today’s dollars, that’s about $1,623 (990 GBP). Now, you can buy a microwave at Walmart for $45. Of course, the Walmart microwaves are built in Tae Kwang Vina sweatshops. So, there’s a slight give and take.

And this microwave has a memory probe? Wasn’t that invented by the Klingons?

Actually, these memory probes remembered how well you liked your meal last. Those old microwaves are still out there, in garbage dumps and old motels … and they are thinking …

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The boots in the upper right have zippers AND laces.  That is truly something special.

 

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