Instant Sideburns! The Odd 1968 Fashion For False Facial Foliage

In the September 1968 issue of Playboy magazine, there is this wonderfully strange fashion spread featuring instant mustaches, sideburns and beards.  The idea of putting on a pair of fake sideburns to go to a party or on a date seems so laughably odd today, that I simply had to share.

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“Presenting the hairiest of all put-ons: Clean-shaven urbanites are sporting false facial foliage that can be whisked on for a party and, if necessary, whisked off for working hours.  The artful smoothie in this feature turns on a bevy of brush-loving birds by instantly sprouting the type of face fuzz that pleasantly tickles each of their fancies.  Here he keeps a stiff upper lip, despite the nearness of two comely distractionists who dig his Zapata (left) and Britannia mustaches, $25 each.”

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“Right on time for a pressing engagement, the young man has the situation well in hand; he’s hirsutably adorned in traditional boot sideburns, about $60.”

“Before an elegant dinner a deux, he caters to his date’s whimsy for whiskers by serving up a stylish side order of muttonchop sideburns, about $100.”

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“The gentleman cultivates an even more sophisticated image – a look that this blonde definitely prefers – by favoring a Freudulent Vandyke, about $80.”

“As a swashbuckler, our man comes on strong in a mariner’s beard, about $100.  All stick-on shrubbery available by mail and from Hollywood Joe’s, N.Y.C.”