Gastro-Disasters: Spectacularly Appalling Food Adverts from Yesteryear

 

chicken-paste-1968

Mmm-mm. Dee-lish!  They sure knew how to make a meat paste look tasty back in the day. Just show it being squeezed through a grinder – always a mouth-watering visual.

This is an example of where the food might actually have tasted just fine (depending on your tastes), but, before the advent of the “food stylist”, things often looked ghastly in their advertisements.  We’ve become so accustomed to highly-polished, Photoshopped food presentation, that food in vintage advertising just looks unpalatable.

Here are some adverts from decades past where the food may or may not have tasted fine, but the presentation makes things look downright inedible by today’s standards.  Bon appetit! 

 

food advertising

Okay, I can read that the bits that look like maggots are actually slivered almonds – but they still look like maggots!

sausage-advert-1968

Steaming sausages atop a mound of veggies and toast – sounds good in theory.

1967-food-advert

 

What’s in the blender? Answer: “A whole new world of cooking…. sauces you thought only professionals could prepare.”

pages-from-cuisine-magazine-vol-13-no-02-feb-1984

Am I alone in thinking that maybe the raisins aren’t adding “a touch of magic” to these meals?

1967-food-advertisement

Eegad!  This is truly horrifying.

1968-cheese-advert

A sandwich only an Australian could love.

1968 food advert

Dear God.  I enjoy a big gristly hunk of meat as much as the next guy – but can we get a food stylist on the set, quick!  Evidently, in 1968, they didn’t know that we consumers don’t like our meat to look like it’s actually part of an animal.

hot-dog-food-advert

Those are some deep red wieners!  (And is the pile of radishes in the corner really necessary?)

1968-lamb-cookbook

No amount of garnish can save this gastro-abomination.

mustard-pickles-1968

To be fair, I’m not sure it’s possible to make mustard pickles look appetizing.

 

advert-miracle-whip-1968

Sweet Lord, that’s a lot of fake mayonnaise.  This should fulfill your fake-mayonnaise allowance for the next couple years.

1967-recipe-book-advert

These Polynesian Meat Rolls are spectacularly appalling.

1968-meat

For more truly unsavory meats check out this article: Ugly Vintage Meats: Before There Were Food Stylists

1968-corn

I can think of a lot of ways to describe this snack – “pure natural goodness” isn’t one of them.

1968-tomato

Rule #1 for food stylists: Make sure your food doesn’t look like it has a bloody tumor.

1968-meat-advert

Wow.  That’s an impressive wedge of fat on that veal chop!

hot dog vintage advert

Try serving these at your next party.  You’ll be the talk of the town.

scandanavian-pizza-advert

A pizza with Chef-Boy-Ar-Dee sauce, anchovies, boiled eggs, raw onion and a center of caviar?  Well, there’s no denying it’s original.  And how about those chicken legs – don’t they look tasty?

april-14-1973-tv-guide

Call me crazy, but I’m thinking they could’ve made that ham look a bit more appealing.  As it stands, I think I feel a tad squeamish – let’s call it day.  Until next time.