Enter the Wild and Wicked World of Honky-Tonk Piano Records

honky tonk piano (20)

Admittedly, “Honky-Tonk Piano” doesn’t exactly spring to mind when I think of wild and sexy album covers.  Yet, the honky-tonk genre records really “sold the sizzle” and made damn sure every cover was brimming with cheesecake and decadent fun.

To be accurate, these so-called “honky-tonk” albums were really ragtime music, but who cares about taxonomy when nearly every cover features a smoking hot saloon girl!  Yes, the saloon girl was a staple on honky-tonk piano covers who inexplicably claw, fondle and drool all over the pianists.  No rock star ever experienced such sexual power through music as the honky-tonk pianist, who each seem to have a bizarre nickname.  Come see for yourself…


honky tonk piano (22)


Move over Gene Simmons and Ted Nugent, here comes Crazy Fritz, and he’s got this saloon girl all hot and bothered with his imaginary piano.


honky tonk piano (18)


The “Old Professor” looks tame enough… but when the camera is off, this honky tonk pianist makes Mick Jagger look like a choirboy.


honky tonk piano (11)

Welcome to the sinful world of sex, drugs and honky tonk piano.  Children, cover your eyes.


honky tonk piano (17)

My understanding is that this LP is the one that started it all.  This is to honky tonk piano what Black Sabbath is to metal.


honky tonk piano (16)

I hope this woman understands she’s walking into a room occupied by “The Crazy Guy”.


honky tonk piano (21)

You can keep your electric guitars – blondes prefer honky tonk piano.  As for brunettes and gingers – do you really have to ask?  I think we’ve established chicks of all kinds go wild for the exotic sounds of honky tonk piano.


honky tonk piano (15)

honky tonk piano (14)

One wonders how “Ace” and his colleagues managed to play a single key with so many scantily clad women fawning over them at all times.  I understand the sultry notes of the honky tonk piano are irresistible, but, ladies, let the men play!


honky tonk piano (13)

honky tonk piano (12)

Pants often weren’t worn by honky tonk pianists.  Such were their decadent ways.


honky tonk piano (10)

Some honky tonk pianists were so badass, they had not one, but two nicknames.  “Knuckles” O’Toole” also answers to “Mr. Honky Tonk”.


honky tonk piano (9)

And, so we meet again, “The Crazy Guy”.  What he lacks in creative nickname origination, he makes up for in mad honky tonk skills.


honky tonk piano (8)

Nick breaks a time-honored tradition of setting the honky tonk cover in a saloon/barrelhouse.  Yet, the innate sex appeal of the honky tonk piano still stands strong no matter the time and place.


honky tonk piano (7)

Joe “Fingers”, “Knuckles” O’Toole, The Crazy Guy, The Old Professor…. I love these honky tonk monikers.    This next guy takes a couple from each and, presto, “Knuckle Fingers Joe”….


honky tonk piano (4) Knuckle Fingers Joe wears a hat to shield his eyes from the constant cleavage.  Knuckle Fingers has a job to do.


honky tonk piano (5)

honky tonk piano (3)

honky tonk piano (2)

honky tonk piano (1)

Honky Tonk God, thy name is Barrel Fingers Barry.

Would you like to support Flashbak?

Please consider making a donation to our site. We don't want to rely on ads to bring you the best of visual culture. You can also support us by signing up to our Mailing List. And you can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. For great art and culture delivered to your door, visit our shop.