Disco Dutch: The Sexy and Sometimes Awkward 1970-80s Dance Music of the Netherlands

disco dutch

A while back we featured some truly jaw-dropping record covers from the Netherlands. This time, let’s actually take a listen and watch the Disco Dutch in action. Yes, most of the time it’s just girls in revealing costumes dancing awkwardly… but is that such a bad thing?

 

Vanessa – “Upside Down” (1982)

Watch as Vanessa jiggles around a dingy gym (which may actually be somebody’s basement). The men wear ultra-short shorts and Vanessa sports bedazzled workout accessories.

 

Darlin’ – “Chicago” (1981)

“That’s where you wanna go. She-She-She-kah-go.”
Actually, Chicago is currently the murder capital of the United States. So, maybe let’s go to Finland instead.

Watch enough of these Dutch classics and you’ll notice that a lot of these groups are comprised of a goofball male flanked by two smoking hot ladies in skimpy clothing. It’s a recipe for success that I can’t argue with.

 

Catapult – “Teeny Bopper Band” (1974)

Totally not impressed with the synchronized high kicks. However, the lead singer’s mullet is a thing of wonder.

 

Bisquit – “Roller Boogie” (1981)

It makes me very sad to think that there are people who will go through life without seeing this video. Fate is a cruel mistress.

 

Dolly Dots – “Rollerskating” (1979)

I find myself marveling at the costumes of some of these Dutch girl groups, and completely forgetting that there’s a song being played. The music isn’t just secondary to the sex appeal, it’s basically irrelevant – play it with the sound off; it’s just as good.

 

Babe – “Boomerang” (1983)

Once again… was there a song playing? Sorry. I was distracted. The director obviously understood the “talents” of Babe and filmed some of this video from behind – obviously for no other reason than to show Babe’s backsides.

 

The Surfers – “Windsurfing” (1978)

Certainly no complaints regarding the ladies’ wardrobe; however, literally everything else about this frighteningly awful. To state the obvious: the Dutch do surf music badly.

 

Hank the Knife & The Jets – “Guitar King” (1975)

This one is more than a little bit troubling. The frontman is like a Vegas Elvis with a receding hairline. Plus, the drummer is obviously not comfortable with the camera, which made for a very awkward moment.

 

Doris D & The Pins – Shine Up (1981)

You can tell Doris was a fitness instructor. This chick really moves around – I’m exhausted just watching her.

 

Earth & Fire – Weekend (1979)

Singer, Jerney Kaagman, has a beautiful voice. In the first Dutch Playboy (1983), Jerney demonstrated her other beautiful attributes.

 

Champagne – “Sjooh, Sjooh, Sugar” (1980)

Sometimes I watch a video and ask myself, “What in God’s Holy Name am I watching?” This is just such a time.