Sex Sells Auto Equipment In The 1970s And 1980s

I think it goes without saying that sex sells, and nowhere is it more prominent than in automotive advertising – traditionally a male dominated market. Page through an old auto magazine and you will see sex peddling everything from carburetors to upholstery. Let’s take a stroll through the libidinous world of vintage auto equipment adverts and see the girls that put the “spark” in spark plugs and the “muff” in mufflers.

 

Get it? Car Pet…. eh? (If I winked creepily, would it be clear?) Take note that this luxurious interior is not only “great for giving”, but also “great for going”. No idea what that means, but I’m game.

 

Get it? The Seat… as in a lady’s bottom? (Clearing throat awkwardly) Suffice it to say, any auto part was a candidate for sexual innuendo. Some more subtle than others…

 

Double entre, thy name is vintage auto adverting. Fact: With the exception of the airbag sensor, every part of the automobile can be given a sexual connotation.

 

This advert for mags manages to work in female legs, which earns my applause for a valiant attempt. There’s not a lot of sly innuendo to be had with “magnesium alloy wheels”.

 

Somehow a cylinder for emitting exhaust gases has been transformed into a sex object. This is pure genius. You don’t see septic tank outlet pipes getting this treatment. Other waste emission industries could take a cue from car header adverts.

 

I love how the text is very serious, discussing fuel economy and the like… yet the illustration is of flying cleavage. You’d think the airborne breasts might detract from their technical presentation, but somehow it only makes it better. Boobs are magic that way.
Further proof…

 

This could have been just a run-of-the-mill picture of a tire with some boring text no one would read. Insert boobs and it’s an advert to be reckoned with. It’s as if there was a legal mandate to all auto parts advertisers – breasts are not optional, they’re required.

 

Pro-Trac fulfilled their obligation with panache. In a pinch, this model could also be used to model headlights (insert rim shot – I’ll be here all night, folks).

 

Okay the “stacked” double entendre is a bit obvious. You’re selling stacks; it’s a no brainer to go with a girl that’s stacked. The trick is to transcend simple innuendo….

 

“Stacked and quietly waiting just for you”…. what mad genius wrote this?

 

This little advert is brimming with innuendo: (1) hot for action, (2) ride the tiger, (3) this is where the guys get off, (4) the wild one with the hot orange skin and the deep growl… not to mention the scantily clad lady cradling her phallic muffler.

Believe it or not, they actually went with the “sex sells” approach to advertise a clutch.   Is no car part immune to lascivious marketing?

 

Even a convertible hardtop hoist is fair game.

 

I suppose there’s no way for these girls to handle the header without it appearing sexual, but it doesn’t take a degree in Freudian psychology to tells there’s something naughty going on here. Oh, and one more thing… ‘MURICA!

 

“Four of these will really get you off.”

Well, I think we are past the point at being redundant. I could easily supply you with a hundred more tacky vintage adverts for auto parts, but you get the picture. It’s simple: each advert can be boiled down to three parts: [boobs + sly innuendo + (insert auto part)]….

 

 

 

Got it? Now you’re ready to make one yourself. Good luck!