Have you been? Do you need to go? We’ve seen Janet Leigh on the toilet in the Psycho bathroom, men of all ages on the pot and admired the bog at New York’s CBGB club and the dawning of the 1980s bathroom. In this gallery, photograph collector Robert E. Jackson shares vintage snapshots of people with their toilets and toilet paper.
“British toilet paper. A way of life. Coated. Refusing to absorb, soften, or bend (stiff upper lip).”
― Erica Jong, Fear of Flying
Got a pain down inside
Won’t be denied
Yeah, every time I try
I can’t be satisfied
Let it go!
WOAH, UMMH
Let it, let it go!– Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, Constipation Blues
Hey, hey, human, gonna do The Strain
I’m gonna grip the seat, I’m gonna pull your chain
Barbed-wire bum baby, be like me
We’re gonna do The Strain on the lavatoryWe’re gonna e-eeeeeeeeease it out
We’re gonna squee-eeeeeeeeeeze it out
So get a grip on your seat. We’re gonna get relief somehow– The Strain by Vivyan Stanshal, performed by the Bonzo Dog Band
Brilliant gold taps, virginal white
marble, a seat carved from ebony,
a cistern full of Chanel No. 5,
and a flunky handing me pieces of
raw silk toilet roll. But under
the circumstances I’ll settle for
anywhere.– Renton find the worst toilet in Britain, Trainspotting
Suddenly a POLICE OFFICER sticks his head in the bathroom window.
…
POLICE OFFICER: Is that bubble what I think it is?
Mary’s parents nod.
POLICE OFFICER: But…how…how’d you get the zipper all the way to the top?
MARY’S DAD: Let’s just say the kid’s limber.
POLICE OFFICER: Well, there’s only one thing to do.
TED: No, no, no, I’ll be fine. I’ll just hang my shirttail out and work on it in the morning.
POLICE OFFICER: Look, son, this’ll only hurt for a second.
The Officer reaches down and takes hold of the zipper.
TED: No, no, please!
MARY’S MOM: Teddy, be brave.
WARREN (other side of bathroom door): Beans and franks!
MARY (other side of bathroom door): Warren, shhh.
Defeated, Ted holds his breath and braces for the worst.
POLICE OFFICER: It’s just like pulling off a Band-aid. A-one and a-two and…
CUT TO:
PARAMEDIC: We got a bleeder!
– There’s Something About Mary, Screenplay by Ed Decter & John J. Strauss and Peter Farrelly & Bobby Farrelly
(God! I’m trippin’ on that!)
Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam!– Funkadelic, Get Off Your Ass And Jam
She came in through the bathroom window,
Protected by a silver spoon.
But now she sucks her thumb and wonders
By the banks of her own lagoon.– The Beatles, She Came In Through The Bathroom Window
Principal McGee: I think we all owe a round of applause for Patty Simcox and Eugene Felsnick and committee for their beautiful decorations.
Sonny: Let’s hear it for the toilet paper!– Grease
ELAINE: uh..excuse me… umm.. I’m sorry. This is.. this is kind of embarrassing but.. there’s no toilet paper over here
JANE: (from the stall on Elaine’s right) are you talking to me?
ELAINE: yeah.. I… I just forgot to check, so if you could just spare me some
JANE: no I’m sorry
ELAINE: what?
JANE: no I’m sorry, I can’t spare it
ELAINE: you can’t spare it??
JANE: no there’s not enough to spare
ELAINE: well I don’t need much, just 3 squares will do it
JANE: I’m sorry I don’t have a square to spare, now if you don’t mind
ELAINE: 3 squares? you can’t spare 3 squares??
JANE: no I don’t have a square to spare, I can’t spare a square
The Stall, Seinfeld
More from Robert E. Jackson on the site. Follow him here for more great stuff.
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