Everyone has had that moment when you realize the lyrics of a song you’ve heard a million times are actually quite dirty. “Afternoon Delight” is a prime example; it sounds like a cheesy soft rock ballad – until you pay attention to the lyrics and realize it’s a pretty graphic description of daytime sex.
Then there are those songs which are not only sexual in nature, but of a creepy and depraved variety. You may have danced to them, you may have performed a little air guitar to them, but did you notice the lyrics were more than a little disconcerting? Here are some examples of songs from the 1950s-1980s which, if you listen close, may cause your humming, dancing or air guitarring to come to an abrupt and awkward halt…
“Jungle Love” by The Time
Come on baby, where’s your guts?
You wanna make love or what?
I wanna take you to my cage
Lock you up and hide the key
You only get water, babe
‘Cause if you’re hungry, take a bite of me
I think they played this at my Senior Prom, but I doubt anyone on the dance floor or at the punch bowl picked up on the creepy “sex hostage” vibe.
“Close My Eyes Forever” by Lita Ford and Ozzy Osbourne
“Kiss Me Deadly” was the hit off Lita’s 1988 solo album; however, this Lita-Ozzy duet is the one that had me scratching my head and wondering ‘what the -?’
You’re like a dagger
And stick me in the heart
And taste the blood from my blade
And when we sleep, would you shelter me
In your warm and darkened grave?
“He Hit Me (and It Felt Like a Kiss)” by The Crystals
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
He hit me and I knew he loved me
If he didn’t care for me
I could have never made him mad
But he hit me and I was glad
Gerry Goffin and Carole King wrote this one when their babysitter (who was actually Little Eva) told them she was being regularly beaten by her boyfriend. The physical abuse = love message of the song is a tad unnerving to say the least.
“Love Bites” by Judas Priest
I understand heavy metal isn’t the best genre to go looking for gentle love songs; but this rapey little number is a bit much.
Into your room
Where in deep sleep
There you lie still
To you I creep
Now you are mine
In my control
One taste of your life
And I own your soul
“Obsession” by Animotion
My fantasy has turned to madness
All my goodness has turned to badness
My need to possess you has consumed my soul
My life is trembling, I have no control
The object of this man’s unholy lust needs to change her name and move to another country or this is going to end badly.
“Baby, Let’s Play House” by Elvis Presley
Now listen to me, baby
Try to understand.
I’d rather see you dead, little girl,
Than to be with another man.
John Lennon was apparently so impressed by these disturbing lines, he incorporated them into “Run for Your Life.”
“Private Eyes” by Hall And Oates
When it’s watching for lies
You can’t escape my
They’re watching you
They see your every move
Who knew Daryl was such a possessive stalker? I have a feeling good ol’ Oates was a bit more laid back.
“Ruby, Don’t Take Your Love to Town” by Kenny Rogers and the First Edition
If I could move, I’d get my gun and put her in the ground
Oh Ruby, don’t take your love to town
The song is about a Vietnam vet who’s lost the use of his genitals from “that crazy Asian war”. So, his wife sneaks into town and gets her lovin’ on the side. I definitely feel the poor guy’s pain, but the lyrics definitely take a walk on the dark side.
“Every Breath You Take” by The Police
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I’ll be watching you
It’s like a theme song for serial killers. Sting and Daryl Hall definitely should seek relationship counseling.
“Sometimes When We Touch” by Dan Hill
This was the slow dance at every homecoming and prom in 1977, and it’s been played incessantly on easy-listening radio ever since. But did you ever notice these troubling lines?
Sometimes I want to break you
And drag you to your knees.
“Bargain” by The Who
I’d pay any price just to get you
I’d work all my life and I will
To win you I’d stand naked, stoned and stabbed
Pete Townsend has since explained that the object of his love here isn’t a man or woman, but God. I’m not sure if that makes it any less worrisome.
“Hungry Like the Wolf” by Duran Duran
I’m on the hunt I’m after you.
Mouth is alive with juices like wine
And I’m hungry like the wolf
What’s with all the musicians with borderline psychotic levels of obsession?
“Undercover Angel” by Alan O’Day
Undercover angel, midnight fantasy
I’ve never had a dream that made sweet love to me
Last I checked, masturbation wasn’t a sexually depraved act. That being said, writing an ode to the object of your midnight wanking session definitely wanders into the grey zone.
“My Man” by Peggy Lee
He isn’t true,
He beats me, too.
What can I do?
Oh, my man, I love him so.
Well, on the bright side, at least she’s not dating Kenny Rogers or Elvis who would obviously murder her. Thankfully, she’s got a guy like Dan Hill or Little Eva’s beau, who settles for physical abuse.
“Billion Dollar Babies” by Alice Cooper
We go dancing nightly in the attic while the moon is rising in the sky
If I am too rough, tell me
I’m so scared your little head will come off in my hands!
I’m not even going to comment on this one. Best to just move along…
“The Invisible Man” by Queen
I’ll leave you with being mentally abused and sexually assaulted by Freddie Mercury. Cheers!
I’m in your room
I’m in your bed
I’m in your life
and I’m in your bed.