There’s a weird vibe running through this album of Christmas images. Harvested from Robert E. Jackson’s phenomenal collection of snapshots we see all kinds of unusual goings on.
One Christmas card features a photo of the sender covered in rats; on another a man canoodles a chimpanzee. There’s an X-Ray of ‘Stoney’s Stomach’ for the season and a pet cockatoo has decapitated Santa.
There’s the oddly unsettling image of the family unit sat on the sofa as the boy uses a toy to spell our ‘MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM ST. TTLEMEYER’ on the rug. In other image, a young girl spells out a message of good cheer apparently using telekinetic powers. There are many dead animals. And grandma, well, she’s delighted with her new toilet seat.
When santa got stuck the chimney he began to shout
“You girls and boys won’t get any toys
If you don’t pull me out– When Santa Got Stuck Up the Chimney
“Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. Please [do] put a penny in the old man’s hat. If you haven’t got a penny, [then] a ha’penny will do. If you haven’t got a ha’penny, [then] God bless you!”
– English song, 19th Century
You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen
Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of all?
Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer– Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer by Johnny Marks
“Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ape!”
– George Taylor, Planet of The Apes, 1968
Got a pain down inside
Won’t be denied
Yeah, every time I try
I can’t be satisfied
Let it go!– Constipation Blues by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins
“I wanted to ask a thousand questions, but there was no one to ask. Besides I knew that people only told lies to children-lies about everything from soup to Santa Claus.”
— Marilyn Monroe, My Story
“I felt overstuffed and dull and disappointed, the way I always do the day after Christmas, as if whatever it was the pine boughs and the candles and the silver and gilt-ribboned presents and the birch-log fires and the Christmas turkey and the carols at the piano promised never came to pass.”
— Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
Decorate the house with lights at night
Snow’s on the ground, snow white so bright
In the fireplace is the yule log
Beneath the mistletoe as we drink eggnog– Christmas in Hollis by Run–DMC
Take a look at her hair, it’s real
If you don’t believe what I say, just feel
I’m gonna lock her up in a trunk so no big hunk
Can steal her away from me– Cliff Richard, Livin’ Doll
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