“A Playground for Men’s Hands” – Vintage Adverts: The Look of Love

A chick on the left, a guy on the right, both giving each other “the look of love” – it’s the perfect formula, and one that has been used countless times in advertising.  I suppose it’s supposed to indicate sweet, sweet lovemaking is about to commence, and therefore we subliminally associate the product with getting laid.  I’m sure it’s effective – we are an easily duped animal. Here’s a stack of vintage adverts employing the formula beautifully…

 

His sweater is so tight it’s practically an upper-body tourniket.   Her billowing peekaboo boob blouse is far better.

 

Mr. Furley (Three’s Company) and Fred (Scooby Doo) weren’t the only guys that could rock an ascot.  This Mr. Hicks model wears his ascot with authority (which is almost impossible to do for most mortal men).

 

I can’t decide if wearing a Charlie’s Angels shirt is unbelievably cool…. or not.

 

All joking aside, I would literally kill a human being for this sweatshirt. It sounds extreme, but so is my love for this shirt.

 

“Personal Space” is not in his vocabulary.

 

Not only do we have the Look of Love, but there’s also phallic imagery here…. can you spot the sneaky phallus?

 

This looks like the beginning of a porn, not a travel brochure. If this is what it’s like in Connecticut, I think it’s time for me to grab slice of Mystic Pizza.

 

Is Mister Rogers getting this young lass blitzed on Four Roses? You go, Fred.

 

“Try these, they never quit”…. I sense a double entendre here somewhere.

 

Not to sound crude, but given her expression, I’m inclined to think it isn’t just his baby soft skin that’s getting her all hot and bothered.

 

“soft pack” or “hard pack”…. which does he have? My money’s on hard.

 

Oh, hell. What’s that in her hand?…. whew (wiping sweat from brow), it’s just the pepper shaker. False alarm.

 

“I have created a playground for men’s hands”. This line can’t be allowed to be forgotten again.

 

Things are about to get ….. (clears throat) unconventional.  Sadly the soda jerk will have to live up to his name all alone.

 

And finally, a few more for the road which follow the template. Remember: chick on the left, guy on the right, and fragrant mist of love is in the air.  It sells booze as well as sweatshirts.   It’s the perfect Madison Avenue Template – be on the look out for it in a magazine near you!