Subscribe to our mailing list

* indicates required

When Comic Books Fail: 17 Awful Covers from Yesteryear

Share this:

bad comics (21)

Crimebuster is wearing ballerina slippers in addition to booty shorts, a letterman sweater and a pair of tights….. Looks like it was laundry day when he was putting his costume together.

 

bad comics (18)

YEEOUCH! I rarely even wince at violence in movies or comics, but this one has me grimacing in pain. A point blank, direct hit to the nads with a freeze ray – a devastating case of blue balls for poor Nemesis. To add insult to injury, the villain sent his freeze ray as a heart shaped message to Nemesis’ gonads.

 

bad comics (16)

“Boy! If I can only hold my breath long enough, this’ll be REAL great!”

Long enough to do what, Bob? Have sex with this entire underwater flotilla? The yellow snapper at bottom is getting the hell out of Dodge before he has to witness that!

 

bad comics (12)

Looks like Superboy and Lana need to lay off the carbs. The shame of it all. Her fat ass hanging out of the door like that – probably breaking wind uncontrollably…. the horror! This is a plot that isn’t dealt with near enough in comics. I want to see Ghost Rider and Deadpool obesity stories.

 

bad comics (8)

Ahem (clearing throat). Methinks where the human portion of this centaur ends and the horse begins is looking a little…. er, wrong. Perhaps the two halves could’ve been blended a bit more, if you get my drift.

 

bad comics (15)

Brought to you by the Savings & Loan Association…. so, I’m guessing this comic not only helps you manage your money, but also rationalize corruption and fraud.

 

bad comics (20)

Um, is this really appropriate? Generally speaking, if a student offers to rub suntan oil on a principal’s back, the principal probably would be wise to decline the offer. Just sayin’.

 

bad comics (7)

Martin and Lewis comics were worse than the movies because Jerry appeared even more retarded (if that’s possible). This cover is a nice metaphor for the comic duo – Dino with the babes, and Jerry alone with his….. with his…. never mind.

 

bad comics (13)

Words fail me. On to the next comic…

 

bad comics (11)

The man just wants Supes’ shirt to put in his little hall of fame…. is this a problem? Is this how Superman reacts to his fans? Not only is this the dumbest idea for a comic book ever created, it further underlines the fact that Superman is a complete dick.

 

bad comics (10)

“I wash born here, an I wash raished here, and dad gum it, I am gonna die here, an no sidewindin’ bushwackin’, hornswagglin’ cracker croaker is gonna rouin me bishen cutter.”

 

bad comics (17)

What’s with the pink muzzles? I checked other copies on the interwebs, and it’s not just a printing error or graffiti specific to this copy. Did they just drink a glass of Strawberry Quick?

 

bad comics (4)

Wait – what? They had a comic book based on the Stanley Kubrick film? I can see a graphic novel adaptation maybe, but a continuing series illustrated by Jack Kirby? This is insane.

 

bad comics (3)

Ummm, Dagwood? I think you’ve got some explaining to do, because it looks like you’re spying on these women and…… well, it’s my sincere hope that he can get some help with his problem.

 

bad comics (9)

Dude, you are whispering really loudly! They totally hear you.

This is made all the more ridiculous by the fact that Novo is, of course, a mute.

 

bad comics (1)

One misplaced swish of that dragon’s tail and it will be more than Dagar’s sword that get’s yanked out.  That is one short skirt you’re sporting there, Dagar.

 

bad comics (6)

Well, this is awkward. Let’s parade all of Flash’s failures and provide close ups of his reactions.

bad comics (14)

  • Archie Dux

    Ghostrider + obesity = bike week at Daytona Beach.

  • Barry Rivadue

    I think Dagwood was actually hiding from unexpected visitors. I know, like it matters!

    • I realize Dagwood is not really sweatily dry-humping that wall… but then, you just never know, do you.

      • Barry Rivadue

        A most valid point! By the way, your ongoing articles are perpetually terrific.

  • Liz Cooper

    Ok, I have two questions. First, do you think that the lowest artist on the DC totem pole got stuck drawing “Rex the Wonder Dog”? And second, is it just me, or does Dagar appear to be fighting with a mini dragon mauling a gray knight statue while being hassled by a Dagar ™ Action Figure?