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¡Qué Terrible! 16 Bad Album Covers en Español

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If you wanted to have a look at the worst album covers of all time, Flashbak might be a good place to start.  We’ve featured 14 Ill Advised Covers15 Wonderfully Awful Album Covers For Your Viewing Displeasure15 Painfully Awkward Album CoversGospel Family Album Covers of the SeventiesErotic Album Covers Done Badly10 Insane Record Covers From The Netherlands, etc. the list goes on.  You might say, we’re a reliable provider for all your bad album cover needs.  Today, we’re serving up 16 misguided covers from Spanish (or Portuguese) language countries – Viva la Vinyl!

 

BETO MENDEZ Pachacamac

The Bulletin and Elegy of the Mitas is a profound poetic summary of the Spanish invasion and colonization process in Latin America.  Yet I still have to chuckle at the sight of the giant Beto.

 

bad cover art

So, I typed “que cuca” into Google Translate and was treated to the English translation: “that pussy” .  I thought for sure it would be something like “that bird” or “that parakeet”.  Nope.  “that pussy”.

 

PETEE FRANKIE Me Inspiro Con Amor

The ghosts of the Frankie Siamese twins joined at the hair

 

1978

Translation:  “With a little imagination”.    Yes, with a little imagination I can try to conceive of why they stuck a ball of red yarn to the forehead of that ghost.

 

La Voz Tropical

Why is this woman hungrily devouring a watermelon?  Gabriel obviously keeps himself well fed, but likes his ladies slim and famished.

 

AL SON QUE ME TOQUEN

“Are you to touch me?”

Is there anything better than a pair of acid-washed Daisy Dukes? (Don’t answer.  That’s a rhetorical question.)

 

De Peligro con El Ritmo Inconfundible de Columbia

 

Yeah, there’s a lot of crime in Columbia.  This is the way almost all album cover photo shoots go.   I’m sorry to report that one of Los Hispanos didn’t make it.

 

CARMELA Y RAPHAEL.

I can’t be the only one marvelling at Carmela’s big distorted see-through head.

 

EDDIE SANTIAGO New Wave Salsa

I love how their idea of “new wave” is broken concrete walls and a couple mannequin heads.  It’s all so very avante garde.  Eddie was tempted to go Flock of Seagulls with that haircut, but couldn’t quite pull the trigger.

 

ricardo

Richie claims to be “natural” but I detect a hint of Jheri Curl.

Let’s check out the back of the album cover…

ricardo back

Richie suddenly doesn’t look so affable.  What’s wrong, Richie? Maybe he doesn’t like that bird eyeing his fruit.  No one – I repeat NO ONE messes with Richie’s fruit.

 

CONJUNTO GRANADA Salsa Attack

Oh, dear.   Is this what boy bands look like in Latin America?

 

explosive gas LA SONORA DINAMITA Explotando con la Nuevea Decada

I’m sorry but this looks like explosive gas to me.  It has to be said.

 

SONORA DINAMITA - MACUMBA Mexico 1987

Ah, life before Photoshop.  This is what you got with a stock photo and a small pack of Crayolas.

 

RAYMUNDO ARMENTA Rey de garibaldi CFU 1024 tormenta norteña

Raymundo seems so composed.  You’d never know two cars were crashing into is nuts.

 

FRANKIE RUIZ Mas Grande Que Nunca

My understanding is Frankie was a mild mannered Canadian scientist until he was exposed to Gamma Radiation, turning him into a giant Mexican rapper.

 

LA CREMA El Party con LATIN LP

Gross.  Just gross.  I think we’ll end here.

  • Liz Cooper

    What is going on with Jesus Martinez’s hair? It looks like he has mange on his scalp.