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A Heavenly Hash of 60s-70s DIY Fashion

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Do-It-Yourself fashion, whether it be basic needlecraft or crochet, was a big deal for most of the 20th century.  But by the 1980s, moms entered the work force and had a lot less time to spend knitting vests.  Some of these midcentury creations were fantastic works of art…. and sometimes things got unseemly.  The tragedy being that these things had to be worn in public – which, I can attest, can be horribly traumatic.  Best not to think about it. (brushes away the pain) On with the needlework!

 

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Suffice it to say, recreational drug use was at an all time high in the 1970s.

 

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Notice anything strange about this cover? How about you look a little closer….

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Sweet Lord! This is just unnerving. Under no circumstances should this have been allowed to roam the earth. The government should have locked it away in Area 51 and denied it ever existed.

 

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An afghan that’s made specifically for watching television? And why is she sitting so damnably close? And what the hell is she watching? And what exactly is under that afghan – is she sitting on a chair? So many unsolved mysteries with this one.

 

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Perhaps it’s just the woman’s pose, but she strikes me as a wicked stepmother. This poor orphaned girl, so full of innocence and merriment is soon to learn a hard lesson when she has to move in with this queen bitch. At the end of this crochet magazine, the woman will find that deep down she has a heart after all. You see, all it took was a little girl to teach her the meaning of love, and thus warmed her wicked heart.

 

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Rene Russo amid metallic sheep – it just doesn’t get any better than this.

Little known fact: Metallic sheep are where we get steel wool…. Get it?  Bwahaha.

 

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Quick – Which one’s the naughty girl? You know damn well it’s the one on the right. If this were a horror movie, the girl on the left would live to be in the sequel, but the girl on the right would be dead halfway through.. If you look close you can see the killer lurking among the trees.

Speaking of lurking killers in needlework illustrations….

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Methinks this picture would’ve been better without the stalker in the background. Why does he and the girl in orange stripes stare at us with devilish grins while the girl on the left stands oblivious? Is something about to go down?

Then again, it could be that he was never there. The girls don’t seem aware of his presence – it was only when they developed the film that photographers noticed this mysterious man in the shadows. To this day, the crew swear there was no man in a hat on the set. (shudder)

 

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Question: If you had to pick one thing to represent the 1970s, what would it be? A custom van? A pet rock? A marijuana leaf? What would you choose?

My Answer: A macrame hanging planter. If you’re old enough to remember the 70s, no explanation is required.

 

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This guy is truly frightening. I have to believe there was some heavy-handed artistic touch-ups to his face, because the only alternative is that his skin is made of lacquered, high-gloss patent leather.

 

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Can’t say as I remember seeing this on adults back in the day, but then that doesn’t mean they weren’t out there.

 

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I’m not so much interested in this boy’s crummy sweater as I am the books behind him. I can make out Michael Moorcock (of Elric fame), the great Clark Ashton Smith, and Jack Vance.  Also, he’s holding a copy of Star Trek Log One, and his right hand is resting on a game called Space Hop. Anyone out there recognize others?

 

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Am I reading into this picture too much, or does it look like the chick on the right is really into the chick on the left? Leave it to your old pal Yeoman Lowbrow to see hot lesbian action in a needlework pamphlet.

Probably a good sign it’s time to move on.  Until next time.