Hey, I get it – due to budget and varying degrees of skill, all album covers can’t be Sgt. Pepper… and I’m glad it’s so. Terrible album covers are much funner to look at.
So, here is another gallery of bad record covers in no particular order (and at the bottom of this article are links to more bad album cover fun) – gathered from the four corners of the world. Sure, it’s a subjective thing – one man’s bad cover art is another man’s Vinyl van Gogh. One thing that can’t be disputed, however, is that they are a joy to behold….
(1) Max Tailleur – Sex Uit ‘t Vuistje (Netherlands)
Are you as disturbed as I am? It kinda looks like this giant creepy guy is going to eat this naked chick. I wonder what the other girl is whispering in his ear. Any theories?
(2) The Fevers – The Fevers (Brazil -1985)
Tip to the ladies: If you see a group of guys get this hot and bothered over a dirty magazine, run in the opposite direction as fast as your little legs will carry you.
(3) Diane Dufresne – A Part De D’Ça, J’Me Sens Ben (Canada – 1973)
So Diane Dufresne decided, for her back cover, she’d paint her boobs with the fleur de lis and stand in front of a bunch of children. Mistake? I
(4) Titti Sotto – Borinquen Disco Party (Mexico – 1980)
(rubbing eyes) Am I really seeing this? It’s a frog dressed like John Travolta pointing up under a woman’s dress. Amazing!
(5) Enrique y Ana – Baila Con El Hula-Hoop (Spain – 1979)
I’m sure it’s just a harmless, innocent record cover… yet creepy it remains.
(6) Hans Ländler – Prosit! (France)
I’m going to go out on a limb and guess they’d already put a few beer steins under their belt before they came up for this cover concept. Oddly enough, this is a French recording.
(7) Lisandro Meza – La Muerte de Tite (Columbia – 1993)
“The Murder of Titus” from the album Macho. Words fail me.
(8) Conjunto Quisqueya – Con Su Brindis (Puerto Rico)
Aw. They made a little chair for him to sit on with their hands and arms. Judging by the sheepish grin from the fella on the bottom left, they realized pretty quick that this was a terrible idea. Alas, it was too late.
(9) Tony Bell – Pikant, Hé! (Belgium – 1981)
I don’t speak Dutch, but I believe this has a translation to something like “Delicious!” I wouldn’t put this up there with The Beatles’ Revolver or Santana’s Abraxas – but it’s in the running.
(10) Francis Lai – Vu De La-Haut/New York (France – 1980)
It’s as if they initially intended the dame to be naked, but last-minute second-thoughts. The artist quickly colored her “bodysuit” (on the LP:, she’s it’s purple) and added some wrinkles around the butt to appease the censors.
(11) Casildo y sus Villanos – La Inyecion de Peña
Just a tad troubling.
(12) Jean Malo – Révélation De L’année (Canada – 1970)
What the – ?
(13) Zaleha Hamid Dan Jasni – Murid Sekolah (Malaysia)
This roughly translates to “school child” – and, indeed, here we have a schoolboy whipping a schoolgirl with a stick.
(14) Festivals de Bandas
I can appreciate some vinyl cheesecake as much as anyone – but you can’t deny this is amazingly awful. We have a girl climbing through an old tuba. No entiendo!
(15) Helmut Seiffert Und Wolfgang Reich – Ich Könnt’ Schon Wieder (Germany – 1974)
Wolfgang wants none of it, but Helmut is “all in”… is there a backstory here that I’m missing? It roughly translates to “I could go back”.
(16) ? – Japan
This is how almost all 1980s Japanese albums look to me: straight-up batshit crazy. I can’t tell what’s going on, or what the text says, but I know it’s just beyond insane. A whole article on these Japanese oddities coming soon – but until then, here’s one more…
(17) ? – Japan
A man with a Pac-Man shaped watermelon head is biting a girl’s ass…. just a normal, run-of-the-mill record cover in Japan.
(18) Mija Aleksić – Seks I Keks (Yugoslavia – 1969)
You’ll note a preponderance of pervy old dudes in today’s collection; an odd theme shared around the world. The languages may be different, but the horny men stay the same.
(19) Willem De Wipper – Catootje In De Sexboetiek (Netherlands – 1974)
It looks like Snoopy is molesting this poor woman. Heel, boy! Heel!
(20) Carlo Trenta & the Demons – Tough Boy, Rock Da Box (US – 1981)
And with this incomprehensibly awful entry from the U.S., I’ll end our globetrotting tour of bad vinyl covers. Until next time.
More bad covers here:
- Vinyl Hall of Shame: 15 More Bad Album Covers
- Sexy Gone Wrong: Erotic Album Covers Done Badly
- Bad Album Covers Exposed! The Music Behind the Worst Vinyl Art Of All Time
- Jingle Fails: Awful Christmas Album Covers (Part 3)
- Dutch Gone Wild: 10 Insane Record Covers From The Netherlands
- 15 Painfully Awkward Album Covers for Your Viewing Displeasure
- 14 Ill-Advised Album Covers (1960s-1970s)
- Racist Records: 4 Vintage Albums to Make You Feel Uncomfortable
- ¡Qué Terrible! 16 Bad Album Covers en Español
- 15 Wonderfully Awful Album Covers For Your Viewing Displeasure
- Polyester Prayers: Gospel Family Album Covers of the Seventies
- Vinyl Atrocities: More Awful and Unsightly Album Covers