1980s VHS Video Cover Action

VHS covers in the action genre could be, well, let’s just say ‘a tad over-the-top’.  They definitely promised a lot more than they could deliver; but, if you were a true video store junkie in the 80s, you didn’t much care.  You knew going in that the grade-Z action flick filmed in the Philipines was never going to live up to the box art…. yet, you rented anyway.  There was always the potential that maybe, just maybe, the promises of the cover would be fulfilled.

Of course, sometimes the covers were absolute shit.  Many of the ones that follow fall squarely into that category.  Let’s take a look at what’s on the racks of the action section of our local Flashbak Video Rental Warehouse….

 

1980s VHS covres

Oh, God yes.  If Vengeance Squad is even a fraction as good as its cover, I’m happy.

 

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It certainly doesn’t look very bloody as the cover promises; still, the cheesecake is enough to tempt a young man to cough up a few bucks.

 

1980s VHS covres

I love action movie posters and box art which features bigass explosions in the background.  A tell tale sign they’re going to be great.

 

1980s VHS covres

“Star of ‘Lambada’ and ‘Breakin'”…. count me in.   There were a million “erotic thrillers” in the late eighties, early nineties that looked exactly like this.

 

1980s VHS covres

You’ll notice that some of the most kickass covers come from our neighbors south of the border.

 

1980s VHS covres

 

This one’s going to make for an uncomfortable watch in polite company.

 

1980s VHS covres

 

It’s “a true story” of exploding cars, strangled women, and awesome hair.

 

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The artwork on this one literally takes my breath away.  But it’s a genuine Michelangelo compared to the next…

 

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Don’t shoot! There appears to be a tiny little man trapped in the barrel of that gun!

 

1980s VHS covres

Should read “Heaven Behind the Bars”, but I guess it depends on your perspective.

 

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Joanna is a beautiful woman…. but apparently not very photogenic.  Maybe it’s just bad lighting and they caught her at a bad angle.

 

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One of the best tag lines of all time: “Kick boxing heads or busting beds, Silk goes all the way!”

 

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Eight days is just not enough to hold onto Blastfighter.  You’re gonna need a solid month.

 

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“In the tradition of ‘Raiders of the Lost Ark’ and ‘Romancing the Stone’.   Um, not quite.
And shouldn’t it be “Dance of the Dwarves”?

 

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These ladies can kick butt, but can’t fasten a button.

 

1980s VHS covres

 

Words fail me.  Just. Hell. Yes.