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11 Gastro Abominations From The Mid 20th Century

By on 7 March 2014 | comments 3

THE mid-century palette was vastly different than it is today. Much of what we find advertised in vintage cookbooks and magazines seems nauseating by today’s standards.  I’m sure the same will be true of our current tastes when viewed fifty years from now. This gastronomic sea change certainly makes for an interesting browse through recipes and food adverts from yesteryear. Here are a few exceptionally foul examples.

 

MEALS IN A MOLD

 

gastroabomination

As a general rule of thumb, I prefer my meats not to be suspended in a freakish mold of gelatin and psuedo-mayonnaise. But I’m funny that way. However, I will say the pimiento used for the fish eye is a stroke of brilliance.

 

BEAN FILLED BURGERS

burgerwiches
Another rule of thumb to keep in mind: I prefer my hamburgers not to have “a surprise inside”. Granted, biting into a burger and discovering a load of beans would be a surprise indeed – but it would be a very unpleasant one. If you should decide to ignore my advice and serve these to guests, please warn them of the “surprise” in advance. When one bites into a burger and is met with the sickening texture of mushed beans, it’s a normal reaction to spit it out and begin vomiting. Don’t take this personally – they probably just thought there were insect larvae inside.

 

 

THE DESOLATION OF CHEEZ WHIZ 

 

cheezwiz
Actually, I’m going to strongly recommend you don’t Cheez Whiz’em. In fact, I’m going to insist you put the lid back on the bottle and step away from Cheez Whiz nice and slowly with your hands where I can see them. This isn’t a dinner, this is a crime scene. Imitation cheese is freaking everywhere – I’ve not seen anything like it in all my years on the force. A tragedy.

 

 

WHEAT NUTS AND TWIGS

 

wheatnuts

The beauty of Wheat Nuts is that, when you run out, you can just step outside and chew on some tree bark. Now with the taste of raw twine! From the makers of “Colon Blow”.

 

 

SALAD CREAM ANOMALY

 

 

salad cream
I can actually feel my arteries congeal just looking at this breakfast. I recommend you serve this with a side dish of congealed lard and garnish with a cigarette butt.

 

 

EGGS DESECRATED IN CHEESE SAUCE

 

eggs ad
How is it that this cheese sauce is flesh hued? I can’t explain my feelings toward this dish except to say that never have I seen a breakfast look more dead. I’m just going to tell you in advance that if I am ever a dinner guest in your home and you set this dish before me on the table, I will scream like a schoolgirl and black out.

 

 

BEACHED CABBAGE ROLL

 

2-16-2010 12-57-41 PM
What washed up on shore to die?

 

 

DINNERTIME DECOR (OF THE INSANE)

 

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I scanned this from a booklet put out by Coca-Cola from the 1950s called Pause for Living. I include it, not so much because it looks inedible, but as a fine example of midcentury mealtime nuttiness. The table seems decorated for Christmas as well as a bowler’s birthday – WTF? And why are there shrimp impaled onto bowling pins? The mind reels.

 

 

VEG-ALL GELATINOUS PIE

 

vegall
Gelatin was flat-out misused in the 1950s. It seems everything on dinner tables from this time period was suspended in this rubbery matrix.

 

 

FOOD CLOTS FOR DINNER

 

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Ham and cat vomit wrapped around a celery stalk. Always a hit with the kids.

 

But before I go, I think it is only appropriate to leave you with an uncircumcised wiener. Cheers!

 

weiner

 

  • David Goodwin

    Just … how …. what were they thinking in the 60/70s ?

    • mahatmacoatmabag

      Dave you asked: what were they thinking in the 60/70s ?

      Well the Kremlin was thinking of conquering Western Europe not by force but by subversion ( which they have succeed to do in creating the EU ), the US was thinking how they could make matters any worse in Viet Nam ( which they did ) , the Arabs were thinking how best to destroy Israel & since they could not defeat Israel on the battlefield they invented the Palestinian people & gave it to the Left in the West to do the work for them & the result as we see today is that the Wests media, academia & weak corrupt governments fully believe in the 20th centuries greatest myth, the Myth of an Arab Palestine

  • mahatmacoatmabag

    Anorak, you forgot the deep fried Mars bar, one of the 20th centuries worst gastro-abominations & probably along with excessive drinking one of the root causes of the SNP rebellion against the UK due to the long term brain damage caused by the bars & the drinking

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2h3zRC7VgI